What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 02.07.2025 00:26
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
What's the most sordid activity you've ever seen or heard about at a bachelorette party?
Make Nazis afraid again!
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
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Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
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And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
TEXT:
What is the best sunscreen available for summers? My skin is oily.
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
As a woman, what would be you response to a male friend’s offer of a full body massage?
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
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Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
What’s the worst thing you caught anyone in your family doing?
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
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And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.